


The Avengers: Earth's 'Mightiest' Heroes

by FlamingIdiot



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author feels uncomfortable swearing, Author is college student please forgive, Except Flash is gonna be here, F/M, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, I accidentially made it Spideychelle, Imma make a kid friendly 'vengers fic, Irondad & Spiderson, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Is A Mom-Friend, Natasha Romanov Is A Tired Mom, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Oops, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peter Parker Meets the Avengers, Precious Peter Parker, Reality TV, Sign Language, So maybe not entirely kid friendly, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony gonna be censored y'all!, Tony is sneaky, also...Tony, aparently, keeping up with the avengers, why is that not a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25602343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingIdiot/pseuds/FlamingIdiot
Summary: "Excuse me, what?" Tony Stark stared disbelievingly at his fiancé/CEO of Stark Industries.Pepper sighed. "Tony, please, I've repeated myself twice now.""I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that not only did Ross make this a requirement, but that all of you," He gestured to the assembled Avengers, "agreed to it, I mean what the-""Language." Natasha interrupted."I'd like to know when all of you became okay with 24/7 surveillance." Th billionaire frowned..Or the fic where the Avengers get their own Reality TV show, and Peter Parker is busy trying to hide that fact from EVERYONE (or at least, anyone who knows him and might see him on it).
Relationships: Irondad & Spiderson - Relationship, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 36
Kudos: 364





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Family Can be Built in More Ways than One](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529741) by [notoneforreality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notoneforreality/pseuds/notoneforreality). 



> This fic was inspired by notoneforreality's "Family Can be Built In More Ways than One", Chapter 3 (check it out) The comment about "Keeping up with the Kardashians" (A show I've never seen, but have heard about) inspired me to make it a thing here. Don't know if this has been done before, but welp, Imma do it now!
> 
> Also, an important detail to note is that this girl care about as much for the trauma of Infinity War as she does for the plot difficulties of Phantom Planet, and so will treat both in the same way and ignore their existence, thanks.  
> So yeah, just pretend that it never happened, Tony and 'Tasha are alive, and Tony made up with the Avengers.  
> Of course, for the sake of the fic, that is recent and... oh you know what? Reading the fic will explain it.

"Excuse me, what?" Tony Stark stared disbelievingly at his fiancé/CEO of Stark Industries.

The echoes of the Avenger's voices followed her own as Pepper sighed. "Tony, please, I've repeated myself twice now."

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that not only did Ross make this a requirement, but that all of you," He gestured to the assembled Avengers, "agreed to it, I mean what the-"

"Language." Natasha interrupted, a slight smirk stealing over her face as Tony glared at her.

"I'd like to know when all of you became okay with 24/7 surveillance." The billionaire frowned, looking over the others, all of whom looked vaguely uncomfortable, except Natasha (that woman showed no emotion unless she felt like it).

Pepper gently tapped her papers against the conference table, straightening them up carefully as she answered. "Ross demands transparency with the Avengers, and keeping them in the public eye will not only allow for that, but it will also show the public how truly non-threatening they can be."

Natasha smirked. "Ross also threw it in as a requirement because he didn't believe we'd follow through."

Tony raised a brow. "That's why you agreed to it?"

She shrugged. "Among other reasons. I don't fully agree with it, but it has it's uses." She tossed her head, turning to look to the others. 

Clint grinned. "I mean, I don't even live here half the time."

"Which means you get the good PR without any sacrifices, nice." Tony leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face. "And the rest of you?"

Cap avoided the other man's gaze. "Tony, doing this will show the world what we really are, people. And if sacrificing a bit of our privacy is what it takes to be allowed to be free, than I'll take it." He winced. "It'll also help people see how Bucky isn't really the Winter Soldier he's known for, just a person who was hurt by the war."

Sam nodded to his friend. "What he said, man. I have a life though, so I don't really have to worry about it as much."

The other's all nodded, offering similar sympathies. 

Tony sighed. "So what, we have to have cameras following us around all the time? I deal with that enough, Pep. Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist over here?"

Pepper glared at him, but refrained from scolding. "Cameras won't be necessary. FRIDAY already runs full surveillance over the building, and with a few more camera's added to the system," She waved her hand towards the different walls of the conference room, but probably meant to indicate the whole penthouse, if not the tower itself. "FRIDAY could handle all the filming alone." She offered a slight smile. "With the added benefit of being able to screen footage of anything confidential, or otherwise unnecessary, without us having to employ people to do it instead."

Tony flinched just thinking about all the paperwork and NDA's that would require.

"All we would need to do would be to have the PR department organize the footage in a presentable way." Pepper continued, leaning closer to Tony. "This way Ross can't say you're too distant from society. If anything, he's paying for us to prove just how harmless you all really can be." She smiled for real this time.

"Also," Natasha smirked at Tony. "It'll be a family show, so Steve was pretty excited when he found out that everyone will be required to cut back on the swearing."

Tony's eyes widened. "I swear to-"

"Language!" The awkward expressions of the rogues seemed to apologize for the reflexive action, but Tony still glared at them.

"Yeah, no. Besides, Pep," He turned back to face her. "What about the kid?"

The curious glances exchanged by the other's didn't go unnoticed, but tony didn't deign to offer answers either. Peter and his spidery secrets would remain a secret from them if he had anything to say about it. Which of course, considering who all was gathered there, he didn't. But he would pretend he could, if only for the sake of his sanity (and his promise to the kid to try and stop drinking).

Pepper sighed, running a hand through her, ironically, strawberry-blonde hair. "Your intern should be fine. Due to security reasons, the lab won't be included in any of the filming, unless of course you or FRIDAY deems it necessary, and even then, heavy editing will be preformed. And if he doesn't want to be a part of it, then he doesn't." Pepper smiled. "If he _does _though," Tony grimaced. "Then you and I would sit down with him to discuss any questions either of you have regarding this."__

____

____

Tony quirked a brow. "And Aunt Hottie?"

Pepper scowled. "His aunt as well, yes."

Tony smirked, before turning to the others, almost chuckling at their expectant faces. "Well, if the all-so-important Ross has decided the world hasn't had enough of me, who am I to deny the pleading of the masses?" He offered his Stark SmirkTM, watching with a grin as their faces all fell, several groan erupting from the others.

Spinning around in his seat, Tony added. "Say, Pep, what is it they're wanting to call this little TV show?"

Now it was Pepper's turn to smirk. "'The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes'."

Natasha frowned. "Add a question mark in there." Clint grinned as the other shot her confused looks, only to be ignored as the red-head rose and headed towards the door. "You'll thank me later." 

Pepper nodded. "Alright! It would appear we're done. Tony, you can contact Ross to tell him you've all accepted his terms," At Tony's groan she added. "Unless of course you want to talk to the PR team about handling organizing all of this?"

Tony frowned. "We both know I don't actually have a choice here," Pepper smirked. "And I honestly couldn't tell you which I would hate more."

"Cheer up, Tones." Rhodey rolled his eyes, braces whirring as he walked past the man, settling a hand on his shoulder for a moment as he passed. "You get to be the one to tell Ross his plan failed and that we're following through with his nonsense."

Tony rolled his eyes, but smirked. "Yeah, I'll give him-"

"LANGUAGE!"

Throwing his head back the genius groaned. "Never mind. Seems like this'll be more of a nightmare than anything else."

Any he was right, just maybe not in the way he was expecting.


	2. And There Went Normality (Who's She?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Episode airs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long guys! I started working part time and also started college this week, so yeah... I've been busy.
> 
> Also, my Mom overhauled our whole house recently and had us moving everything around and cleaning stuff, so yeah!
> 
> But here you are! Chapter One!

When the first episode landed, the world stopped turning. Or at least that's how it felt to one Peter Parker. 

Mr. Stark had, in the previous days, been quite busy during their lab days, updating FRIDAY's systems for some major event, but he never would have guessed it was to make a Reality TV show with her cameras. 

As a result, Peter had been out of the tower for a few days now, seeing primarily to his responsibilities as Spider-Man, and as High-School-Student Peter Parker. It had been a slow few days recently, which made sense. The Avengers were back in town, and everyone, even the dogs knew (trust him, dogs were usually smart and they saw EVERYTHING) that the Avengers were trying to stay on good behavior, and might do anything to get back into the public's favor. And that meant that criminal's decided to stop messing up lives for the week, or at least keep it on the down-low. As in, so down-low that FRIDAY might take a couple days to find them.

Of course, Peter loved that the city was safe, but it made patrol rather boring. And taking away lab days with Mr. Stark, cutting back on intern work (thank you Mr. Stark, for making that a real thing) and hyper-focusing on school projects. School projects which, much to the chagrin of his classmates, were turned in earlier than most of the others, and clearly high-quality. 

Again, the perks of working with Mr. Stark was that he'd let you reuse his old stuff that he didn't want. Which meant a lot of cool tech!

Which also meant jealous classmates *aherm* Flash *aherm*.

And that was the reason that one Peter Parker found out about the new TV show.

Because of Flash.

Of course it was Flash.

Peter had been walking down the corridors of the school after his final class of the day, discussing (no, not legos, you basic doof) the different qualities of Thor's hammer and what it was potentially crafted from. It was a typical nerd discussion, both in the science aspect and the geeky fan-boy aspect, but who cared? They were at a nerd school, and thus allowed to talk all the science they wanted.

Or well, they should have been. One Eugene "Flash" Tompsen decided at that very moment to interrupt them, his eyes flashing (lol) as he glared first at Peter and than Ned. "Yo, Penny Parker, I have words for-"

"Me, maybe?" Michelle challenged, glancing up from her book with a cold stare. "Because I don't really care, Flash. Get your tail in gear back to your own business. Hint," She frowned. "It's not over here."

Peter sighed. "What do you want Flash?" (What? You think he's gonna let the guy go take out his anger on someone else?)

The taller boy turned back to him, brows furrowed in a heavy frown. "I wanna know why you're stealing tech from Stark Industries. I mean," He shrugged, playing it off like he was some kind of cool person, who was doing Peter a favor by confronting him. "I get it. You're an orphan who can hardly afford to buy lunch every day, but dumpster diving?" He smirked. "Well isn't that low."

Peter sighed. "I have an internship, Flash. I told you."

The other boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. And you work with Tony Stark of all people. Newsflash, Puny, everyone knows you don't work there."

Ned frowned. "Yeah? Well where's your proof."

For once, the bully didn't scowl or yell at Ned, instead turning his smirk to him. "What, you don't keep up with modern events, Deadward? It's all over the place," He crossed his arms. "After all, with their new show up and streaming-"  


Peter started. "New WHAT?"

Flash only grinned wider. "What, you didn't know? Wow, Parker, it's a good thing you don’t have an internship; you'd miss anything and everything important. Duh, the new show they're playing? The one about the Avengers? The one were you definitely didn't show up?"

But Peter wasn't paying attention anymore. "Oh shoot, oh man! _That's _why Mr. Stark was updating FRIDAY! Oh gosh, how did I miss that?"  
__

__Flash, realizing that Peter wasn't paying attention anymore, but also knowing he had actually won this round, just smirked and walked away, leaving Peter with his two (only) friends to try and comfort him._ _

____

__

"Dude, you were probably just busy this week. I mean, that project you turned in during shop classes was really cool! I know I'd be busy trying to perfect that, not checking social media or whatever." Ned shrugged, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder. "It's fine. Besides, Mr. Stark was probably gonna tell you himself."

MJ rolled her eyes. "Yeah, nerd. Plus, isn't it kinda hard to keep up with local news if you're making it all the time?"

Both boy's turned to her in confusion, Peter paling even more than he already was. "What?" He squeaked. Ah, puberty in all it's glory.

MJ cocked a brow, but the simple gesture spoke volumes to the boys. "I'm not stupid, Parker, I know."

Quick Peter, play dumb! "About the internship? That's nice," Peter nodded breathlessly. "Because everyone else-" He sighed, running a hand through curly brown locks. "But that doesn't really count as saving the world, more like," He frowned. "Helping to help save the world? I just help build stuff and-"

MJ rolled her eyes. "No, I mean the other part." And congrats to MJ for being descrete as she held up one hand, posistioned in the signature Spider-Man webshooter posistion that somehow everyone in New York recognised.

" _Oh, my gosh! _" Peter didn't know the girl's name, or her voice, but her face would forever beseared into his memory as she cooed at them. "I didn't realize you spoke sign-language, Michelle! Oh, how cute!"__

____

____

"What?"

Peter took the moment to calm his nerves as the two girls talked, mind racing as he realized what she had told him.

_MJ knows, MJ knows, MJ knows! Oh shoot, MJ knows! ___

He didn't know when Ned steered him out of the building, but when he realized that MJ wasn't with them on their walk back to the train, he became worried. "Hey, dude, where's MJ?"

Ned gave him a look, but shook his head. "I'm going to let that slide, but only because she just dropped a bomb on you, so you were probably freaking out."

Peter nodded. "Yeah."

"She ran off back home," Ned jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "But I guess she didn't want to walk with us after what Nancy said."

Peter raised a brow, making his friend stop where he was standing.

"Dude! Did you miss that whole thing?"

"Other than MJ telling me who I am? Pretty much!" Ah, the prepubescent squeak.

Ned grinned like a lunatic. "Ok, this is great! I get to tell you myself! So apparently, this," He held up the same symbol MJ had, the Spider-Man hand position. "Is actually the ASL sign, for 'I love you'!" 

Peter's face fell as his ghost fluttered out of him.

Ned grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "And Nancy apparently thought that MJ was sneakily declaring her-"

"Ok stop, stop!" Peter raised his hands before him, a bright flush making it's way across his cheeks. "I get it. Goes to genius school."   


Ned smirked.

Running his hand through his hair, Peter let out a whoosh of breath. "Hopefully she won't tell anyone."

Ned cocked a brow.  


"I'm screwed." Peter corrected himself.

Rather than dealing with the idea that the entire school would probably think he and MJ were a thing when they got back next week, that is, if Nancy was as bad a gossip as Ned made her out to be, Peter turned his attention to the elephant in the room. Oh forget it! It was Hulk in the Compound! A TV show? Really?

Kissing Aunt May's cheek at the door, and then running into his room, Peter booted up his computer and took to the Internet. The show proved as easy to find as he had thought it would be.

And man, as he played the first episode, was he worried as all get out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I've decided to do this fic so that every other chapter will be an episode of the show itself, and in between, we'll get chapters about how this is effecting everyone's lives. AKA Peter's life, because he's my boi and I love him!


	3. A Day In The Life.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long y'all! I had some family medical stuff to help with (nothing too serious) and my college classes are in full swing now. 
> 
> The new chapter is extra long though, so I hope it helps make up for it!

The screen lit up with images of Captain America, Black Widow, Iron Man, every one of the Avengers that New York had come to know over the last few years, as well as some other heroes and protege's, like Wolverine, Daredevil and Deadpool. Images flitted across the screen in a carefully crafted montage as the voices of the heroes sounded over the sound system, the pictures forming together to create the word "MARVEL", before everything went black. (Essentially the Marvel opening we all know and love.)

A popping and fizzling sound broke the silence, as a shot of a coffee pot appeared on screen, becoming unfocused as the figure of the one and only CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA picked up the pot and poured himself a cup.

"You want some, Buck?"

The former assassin seated at the counter nodded, eyes bleary as he ran his hand through his hair, the human one. "Yeah." Sleepy eyes blinked a few times as he lowered his hand again, the camera coming to focus on his face as he scowled at it. "Is that gonna be normal?"

Switching back to Steve, the viewer could see the questioning expression the hero shot at his friend. "The cameras?"

"Yeah." Bucky scowled and raised his metal hand to poke at the tiny bot floating in front of him.

Steve shrugged, returning to pouring coffee for the two of them. "Yeah, Stark's got them programmed to follow us apparently-"

The alarm in Bucky's eyes as he glanced warily from bot to his friend was easily visible, despite the lack of facial expression to accompany it.

Steve turned, coffee in hand as he sat himself at the kitchen counter. "They're for the new reality TV show Ross has us doing." 

"And they follow everyone?" Bucky relaxed some, but his eyes continued to follow the small bot.

"Yep." Steve sipped his coffee. "Better to be watched than imprisoned though."

Nodding once, he gripping his mug carefully and sniffing it before scowling. "You forgot the creamer."

Audiences watching smiled slightly at the almost pouty expression on the Winter Soldier's face as he pouted about a lack of creamer. Even Steve chuckled. "Sorry Buck, we ran out."

The deadpan expression on the assassin's face screamed disbelief. "Stark ran out of creamer? The billionaire?" 

Steve's face twitched with a hint of a smile. "Don't be surprised, he drinks an insane amount of coffee."

"I noticed."

"He probably just forgot to send someone shopping for him."

"Billionaires." Bucky scoffed, and both men smiled slightly as they sipped their coffee.

"Speaking of," The two jumped, turning to face the red-head who had just appeared in the kitchen. "When was the last time you saw Tony?"

Steve frowned, eyes flitting over to the camera that whirred into his face before turning back towards Natasha. "Why, something wrong?"

She shook her head, spooning cocoa powder into a mug. "Not particularly. But considering filming starts today-" She glanced over at the two, one brow cocked expectantly.

"He's probably hiding." Bucky agreed, leaving Steve to glance between the two in confusion.

"Exactly. Pepper flew out yesterday, but she asked that we make sure he shows up on screen for two minutes, at minimum." The lazy smirk she threw their way spelled doom. "So who's the lucky person who gets to drag him out of the lab?"

Bruce, who had just been entering the kitchen, swiftly pivoted on his heel and headed out.

The view of the camera changed, displaying the fogged glass of Tony's lab as none other than Captain America stood outside of the door, hand raised to knock at the door, but frozen in place as the Captain hesitated.

 _"Captain Rogers,"_ FRIDAY's smooth Irish lilt broke the silence, making Steve start slightly and look up. _"Boss is currently busy reprogramming one of his suits. Do you need something?"_

"Yeah," The Captain breathed. "Pepper wanted him to show his face today."

_"I can convey that to him for you if you wish." The AI's voice offered kindly, if an AI's voice can be considered kind. (And it can be.)_

Steve relaxed, nodding. "Yeah, thanks FRIDAY."

_"My pleasure."_

Turning, the living legend made his way towards the elevator, only to be interrupted by FRIDAY. _"Boss says "I've worked my *BEEP* off in order to get this *BEEP* show off the ground. I'm resting, *BEEP*."_

__

__

The loud blaring beeps made Cap wince and grin at the same time. "Censoring?"

 _"Boss Lady thought it would be necessary."_ FRIDAY chimed, sounding pleased.

Cap grinned. "Well, tell him he needs to come out sometime today, or Natasha might come and-"

The door to the lab slammed open and Tony's disheveled form stumbled out, hair slick with oil and face smudged with it, dark bags under both eyes as he glared at the Captain. 

"Don't even finish that." If Tony could only have heard the surprised snorts of laughter of the audience as they saw the famous billionaire in all of his morning glory. 

Steve offered a weak smile, only to be ignored as Tony headed towards the elevator. 

"FRI, notify Miss Romanoff that I'm out and am to be allowed approximately three hours before she or anyone else comes bringing me ultimatums from Pep."

 _"Notification sent."_ FRIDAY responded evenly as the elevator closed around the genius, sending him shooting up towards the common floor as Steve stared blankly at the closed doors.

"Guess I'll take the stairs."

Breakfast among the Avengers was an interesting occasion. Tony appeared briefly to get some coffee, nodding stiffly at Bucky's comments about the lack of creamer, before disappearing back into the elevator. He was on screen for approximately one minute and thirty-two seconds, but even that was something.

Sam scowled to himself as the two super-soldiers consumed their meal, and complained loudly to anyone who would listen about the three's morning run which, as anyone might have guessed, he wasn't very happy with. Both legends ignored him, instead discussing the use of the gym that they would once again get to -or in Bucky's case: recently be allowed to- use.

Natasha sat on the counter, watching everyone as she sipped hot cocoa, eyebrows twitching slightly every now and then, but otherwise no expression save a cool smirk gracing her face.

Bruce sipped his tea and poured over various papers, obsessively catching up on the events he had missed while in space, especially those of the scientific nature.

Clint, T'challa, Scott, Vision and Wanda were not at the tower at the moment, or else busy eating elsewhere. As was Spider-Man, much to the public's dismay.

As breakfast finished, Natasha hopped off of the counter and tossed a couple of hoodies (from goodness knows where) at the two super-soldiers. "Come on, we're going grocery shopping."

Bucky stared at the hoodie in his hands and back up at Natasha, brows quirking slightly.

She rolled her eyes. "Stark's busy, and we need food. The cereal and other *beep* he's got in here is only fit to feed a teenager. And with you two living here," She grinned. "We'll need far more than that, even if it is enough to feed an enhanced teenager."

"Why are we going?" Bucky was already pulling the hoodie on over his shirt.

"You know what you like." She nodded towards them, pulling a hoodie of her own over her face. "Plus, you two fossils need to get better acquainted with the real world, not just the-" She frowned, glancing up at one of FRIDAY's cameras. "-butt-kicking one."

If FRIDAY could have, she probably would have flashed the spy a thumbs up. And who knows, maybe she could have.

Much to the viewers' surprise, the camera's followed the three Avengers out to the car, a black van that looked like it belonged in a school parking lot, and down the road to a local grocery. Hoodies dawned, the three made their way inside, stopping briefly as Steve and Natasha grabbed a couple of carts.

What followed brought to mind more of a comedy then something that belonged on Reality TV. 

"$1.56 for milk?" Bucky stared in disbelief as they passed down the diary isle. 

Natasha sighed and grabbing a carton and Bucky's hand. "People make an average of at least $8.50 an hour now, it's not that bad."

Steve and Bucky however, seemed to keep forgetting, gaping at the prices every time Natasha or anyone else grabbed something, and leaving the red-head exhausted.

"Ignore the price, Steve." She admonished, snatching a package of cookies from his hands and placing it in the cart. "Even if it was a lot, Tony can handle it." She continued down the isle, throwing a deadpan look over her shoulder. "He's a billionaire you know."

"Wow." Bucky smiled slightly at the sight of frozen cookie-dough. "That's..."

"Cool?" The slight chuckle in Steve's voice made him turn his head.

"Yeah."

Natasha grabbed a can, inspecting it for a moment before putting it back and grabbing another one. "That one expires tomorrow. Here," She handed it off to Steve. "This one's better."

"I can cook." Bucky reminded her, much to the joy of the audience.

"Banner likes these." And that was final.

"What even-"

"Ladies things." Natasha interrupted, raising a brow at the two men. "I don't suppose you want to look down there?"

"We're good." Steve's flush made her grin.

By the time the three heroes reached the register Natasha had the same expression on her face as the mom in front of her with three children clinging to her cart. Natasha only had two adult men, but in some cases that's nearly the same thing.

The cashier looked more than a little surprised to see them. The young woman stared in awe, but respectfully kept her mouth shut, for which Natasha offered her a small grin before grabbing a couple bags and nodding to her companions. "Come on boys, grab some bags and let's head to the car."

Needless to say, the two felt ridiculous as they followed her, each carrying four bags while Natasha Mom-Carried ten of them.

Climbing back into the van, Steve started. "Oh *BEEP*!"

"Language." The red-head smirked, glancing over to the passenger seat where he sat.

"Sorry." Cap glanced towards the small bot hovering in front of his face. "I just-"

"Forgot they were there?"

"Yeah."

Both assassins smirked as the car pulled out of the parking lot.

The camera footage showed a car pulling out, Bucky's voice playing over the speaker as he chuckled slightly. "This is why you lost some many fights, Stevie; you lack awareness."

"Hey!"

Back at the tower, Stark was busily checking cameras. The different angles of his face flicking onto screen as he checked each one. 

"Ross is an idiot." He half-sung to himself, frowning as he adjusted one of the mini-bots.

Running a hand down his face the genius glanced around himself. "That should do. FRI? Give me a report."

_"All ACME's are fully operational and functioning."_

"Give me a visual."

A screen appeared in the midst of the living room, allowing Tony to flip through the different feeds, all displaying different views of the various Avengers. "Looks like Romanoff had a successful shopping trip." He smirked, turning towards another screen. "Sam is at one of his Veteran things, right FRI?"

_"That is correct, Boss."_

"Of course it is, I said it." Flipping over to a different screen, he sat back in one of the available chairs. "Pep's in Paris, Bruce is in the lab- ooh! FRIDAY, enlarge feed from ACME 27."

_"Enlarging feed." ___

____

____

One of the screens enlarged to show Bruce busily mixing chemicals in one of the lower labs. Tony leaned in, brows furrowing. "What is he doing?"

_"Data available from Dr. Banner's computer indicates that he is researching the functionality and properties of Spider-Man's webbing."_

Tony frowned, sitting back and stroking his goatee. "How close is he to figuring it out?"

_"Would you like audio?"_

"Yeah." Tony dismissed some of the smaller screens. "Put it at forty-three."

_"Of course."_

Bruce's voice filtered through into the room, the man frustratingly tapping at his computer. "-right! Augh! How is it- It shouldn't be able to do that..." The scientist ran a hand through his hair and glanced over at a small sample of the webbing that sat on his desk, scooting over to it to get a closer look. "To shoot out it would take inhuman strength to even- augh..." Bruce sighed, stopping for a moment to breath deeply as he pushed away from the desk. 

"By all rights none of this should work." He pinched the bridge of his nose before starting, staring up into the camera. "Oh right, cameras." Smiling awkwardly, he waved up at the hovering bot. "Hey... people."

Tony snorted in amusement.

The on-screen Bruce continued. "Don't know if Tony's gonna use this..." He trailed off as his gaze traveled back to the computer screen. "I'm a chemist, I should know this..."

Tony frowned, the camera slowly moving around him as he stroked his chin. "FRI, lock away any files or information about Spider-Man, and if Bruce gets too close, tell, okay?"

_"Locking away all files including 'Spider-Man'. Would you like me to also hide files regarding 'PBS kids', Boss?"_

Tony glanced at the on screen Bruce, then towards the window, frowning as he saw Widow and the two super-soldiers arriving. "If you'd be a dear."

_"Of course, Boss."_

The three shoppers made their way out of the elevator, two of them starting at seeing Tony waiting for them at the top. Nodding sharply to them, he walked past, heading into the elevator they were leaving. "Labs." He called out, presumably to FRIDAY, just as the doors closed. 

Bucky and Steve exchanged a glance, before turning back to see Natasha already putting groceries away. "I'll take care of the cold stuff," She smirked. "Wouldn't want anyone getting to close to the ice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I've haven't actually watched a lot of SIT-COMs or Reality TV, so forgive me if this is inaccurate, I'm winging it here.
> 
> Also, yes, I do have a meaning for the ACME acronym; Tony always has meanings for his weird names for bots and whatnot :)
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Sending love!


	4. Sorry!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note (Sorry, it's not an update)

I am really sorry to all of you who are following this story that I haven't updated in so long. Life has been... difficult, and I've been balancing college, a relationship and a lot of family drama for the last few months. I broke up with my SO, have been helping get my sister through a bout of depression and just generally trying to help handle my family's drama in lieu of being the unofficial family 'therapist' (AKA the person they can rant to and who helps try to solve stuff)

I do plan on updating the story (I am NOT abandoning it!) but I also have been dealing with pretty heavy third chapter writers block, and since I tend to post as I write, I didn't have anything to fall back on. Hopefully in this new year I can fix that, but... I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Until then, please know I have not forgotten about this story, and that I really do appreciate the attention that it has gotten and all the wonderful comments you have given me.

Thank you

-Rhei

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you think in the comments!  
> I'm new at sharing FanFics, so please forgive me, I won't be able to post super regularly (I'm also going into a new college semester so...)  
> Also, I'm sorry if anyone is OOC, it's been awhile since I've seen most of the Avenger's movies, so I'm a bit rusty.  
> I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> -Phoenix


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